Lorraine
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Joined: May 26, 2010
Posts: 236
Submissions: 30

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Posted on Sat Mar 03, 2018 7:49 pm
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Lorraine was the heart and soul of this site. Having her as an admin brought a sort of warm energy to everything here. We're all going to miss her terribly.

Joined: April 02, 2008
Posts: 2252
Submissions: 42
Location: Lincoln, NE

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Posted on Mon Mar 05, 2018 3:21 pm
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This place will not be the same without her, but her fingerprints and pier marks will always be visible all over the site. I am sorry and she will be greatly missed.


Once you stop learning, you stop living, so...
Ask questions.
Try new things.
Share what you know.

MailleCode V2.0 T5.3 R4.4 E0.0 Feur MFe.sBr Wg Cwb G.7-5.1 I3.1-11 N20.5 Pj Dcdjt Xa1w2 S08

Joined: April 15, 2002
Posts: 1823
Submissions: 1
Location: Calgary, AB. Canada.

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Posted on Wed Mar 07, 2018 9:49 am
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I first got to know Lorraine what must be a decade ago by now.

Once upon a time, the IRC chatroom for MAIL (and/or TRL) had 30 of us who'd drift in and out, a half dozen or so talking at any given moment throughout the day.

Most of us were college kids or barely employed/bored at work/shiftworking 20-somethings that left the chat window up throughout the day and night. Regulars you'd recognize from the two forums back then.

Eventually Lorraine wandered in and made herself at home. Up until then she had gradually developed some social anxiety in her personal life but in chat she could still be social and active without a lot of the drawbacks of going out and smelling real people.

Lorraine and Michael chose not to have kids, but, just like with her cats she more or less adopted the whole dysfunctional slum of us and quickly settled in as our Mother Hen.

Even though it's only text, Lorraine picked up on things that a lot of people would've missed and she cared enough to do something about it. If she thought something was off about you, she'd start a private conversation to ask you how things were going and see if there was anything you needed to talk about. You'd only find out about it months or years later but I know more than a few of us ended up with her as our unlicensed therapist.

Lorraine was always there for anyone who needed it, from advice, to teaching and everything in between. She never said no, even to complete strangers who'd show up. She was always happy to make someone's life a little bit better.

Sometimes I'd get home from the bar and post a couple photos for people to snicker at in the morning, and she'd reply. I'd be like "It's 4am where you are, what are you still doing up?", and she'd have spent her whole night helping some random teenager with something.

Lorraine was the kindest and most generous person I've ever known. She was nothing but nice to really just everyone she met unless they were being mean to someone. She had such a kind heart she almost didn't have a concept of why people were mean. When she saw someone being cruel it bothered her in a real, like, "why would someone do that?" kind of way. She hated drama but wasn't lazy about it, she was protective and she'd make the effort to step in and say something if she thought anyone wasn't being treated fairly.

When she was having a bad day or depression or anxiety hit harder than normal, rather than do what most people would do and be selfish and take care of themselves, she'd often make her day better by helping someone else. or doing something for someone else. It's something that's rubbed off on me a little, habitually, in the way I go about my life.

When MAIL went through a bit of an upgrade and we got the ability to tag and categorize posts, Lorraine went on a grind and tagged and sorted just about all of them in the archive. Thousands of images. A few other people helped, but I think most of the heavy lifting was hers. If you look through the gallery sometime and notice how easy it is to find what you're looking for, that's her doing. I don't think she ever took much credit for it, just happily chugged away at it night after night until it was all done, and then stayed on top of it for the years and years since.

Lorraine was goofy and silly and fun to be around. She didn't act her age, though maybe she just didn't want us treating her like she was twice as old as most of us. She didn't swear like an adult did, with casual commonplace indifference, she swore like it put a defiant smile on her face every time, "Yeah I used a bad word, I did it on purpose too, and you can't stop me!" Like it was some kind of power trip over the boring, proper person she had come uncomfortably close to being a few times in her past. She certainly never talked down to us, only after her passing did I find out she had 2 university degrees, humble enough I can't recall her ever mentioning it.

I picked up piano after a 15 year cold turkey hiatus, somewhat at her encouragement (she used to play, a lot, a lot a lot), and ten years later I still play almost every day.

Lorraine gushed over her husband like a goddamn highschooler. They'd been married for decades already and she'd get a pep to her talk when she'd get to brag about him to us which she did all the time. She was really proud and, he made her happy in a way that, I haven't seen a lot of spouses do. (Maybe it was the whole, not having kids thing giving them a lot less to argue about :p ).

All told, we only hung out together for a year or two and occasionally caught up since, and it's been several multiples of that since I've been gone, but the space those times take up in my head doesn't match their chronology. I have what feels like decades worth of memories about her, like she'd been a daily part of my life for far longer than she actually had. I guess 'cause all the other bits faded, while she was worth remembering.

I don't really miss people in the normal sense and Lorraine hasn't been a daily part of my life in a long time, but the way I'll miss her is all the times I see something I wanted to share with her and now can't. The world was a better place with her in it and it saddens me that she's gone.

Joined: July 17, 2009
Posts: 451
Submissions: 76
Location: Denver, Colorado

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Posted on Wed Mar 07, 2018 3:08 pm
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Very nicely said, Cynake. Thank you for sharing that.



Joined: July 17, 2009
Posts: 451
Submissions: 76
Location: Denver, Colorado

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Posted on Wed Mar 07, 2018 3:29 pm
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I didn't know her very well at all, but she was the first one to encourage me when I started making things and posting pictures here. Quite extraordinary really, how something like that stays with you. I hope I can pay it forward.



Joined: August 24, 2012
Posts: 6
Submissions: 2
Location: Salisbury, NC, USA

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Posted on Wed Aug 22, 2018 8:48 am
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I would be honored to make this place part of my every day journey of the internet each day I'm on. I missed a change to learn more about what appears to be a wonderful and highly respected member of the community and I'd like to do what I can to help.

All my best thoughts and prayers, Mykal, for the mess I know you're still dealing with, and will be dealing with for a long time. I hope we all can help carry some of the emotional weight by sending our loving thoughts. <3

Kat



Joined: July 11, 2003
Posts: 451
Submissions: 35
Location: Rochester, NY, USA

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Posted on Wed May 01, 2019 1:23 am
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I am saddened to hear of Lorraine's passing. She and Michael were always great company when I saw them at the NEMFs. I'm pretty sure it was more than once but they may have just made such a strong impression that I'm miscounting.

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